BREAKING NEWS – DeSantis creates state military, draft, imposes censorship

EDITOR’S NOTE: this was a April Fool’s prank. It’s still a good and short read, though!

Early this morning, through his executive order 2020-0401, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis created the Florida Defense Forces (FDF). The forces are modeled on the similarly sized IDF (Israeli Defense Forces), which consist of ground forces, air force, navy and administrative branches such as an Intelligence Corps and a Military Censor Unit.

Ron DeSantis
Florida governor Ron DeSantis

DeSantis, who graduated Harvard Law School and then served six years in the Navy, said he took this momentous military step reluctantly. Later today, DeSantis will sign an additional executive order drafting Floridians in to the FDF to work roadblocks, patrol the Florida land and sea borders and generally maintain order during the coronavirus crisis.

“There is an urgent necessity to stem the flow of migrants from New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Louisiana and other coronavirus hot spots in to Florida,” DeSantis said, who yesterday ordered a cruise ship with coronavirus passengers to not dock in Florida.

“The situation was rapidly becoming exponentially more dangerous, and I had to take this additional step of standing up the FDF to protect Floridians,” DeSantis said during the 4 A.M. press conference with his wife Casey and two young children by his side.

“The US military can’t help us, they are themselves overwhelmed by the coronavirus,” DeSantis continued. “I issued this executive order for the safety of everyone, but most especially, I took this action for the safety of the children.”

“What don’t you understand about the declared state of emergency we are in?” DeSantis responded to a Reuters reporter who had asked where in state or federal law the governor found the authority for his actions. The profusely apologizing reporter was led away from the press conference by staff from the newly created FDF Military Censor Unit.

William Pitt the Younger

If you read this far and believed the 290 words above, then April Fool’s on you! If you accepted that a governor can do anything they want without legal authority while citing “an emergency” or using claim of “doing it for the children,” we respectfully submit that you should examine your own belief system.

In you need to tweak your belief system, there are a variety of free online civics classes for you to cure what ails your basic instincts.  There is plenty of time for most to brush up on civics during this period of extended home confinement.

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom,” William Pitt the Younger said in 1783. “It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.” Pitt made his remarks in the British House of Commons on the 18th of November, 1783.

The Tampa Bay Guardian has zero revenue and some expenses, yet we don’t accept donations. At least not yet. Also, our articles usually don’t display the writers’ names.

In other words, we don’t work for the money or for the fame because we don’t get either. We do it to make people think for themselves and not simply assume that official assertions are accurate, legal, or wise. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t.

In 1963, Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram showed that two thirds of the residents living near an Ivy League school can be made to kill their fellow human beings simply for the “crime” of not being able to remember or learn.

The test subjects needed only verbal non-threatening prodding to administer what they believed to be lethal electric shocks to others. Some did it reluctantly, but they would still obey authority.

Notably, this experiment took place less than 20 years after the Holocaust came to light, and the propensity of human beings to obey authority has not changed appreciably since that time.

That’s why we chose this particular and unhumorous April Fool’s Day prank, not to criticize DeSantis, but to make a point about blind obedience to people authority who claim to be “doing what’s right for the community in an emergency.”

Here is our previous reporting on government actions during this pandemic crisis, from the newest to the oldest:

Sheriff Chronister’s big bromance event 11 weeks ago with pastor he now arrested
FWC redefines the term “navigational hazard,” at odds with federal law. Covid-19!
Pinellas County provides “non-essential” businesses misleading information
Sheriff violates county order with pandemic notices at businesses

Confusion about Pinellas “safer at home” order, authoritarian threats from Sheriff
Covidiot touchfest as Pinellas County imposes severe Covid-19 restrictions
DeSantis’ illegal executive order enables local government malfeasance
Kriseman’s coronavirus executive order invokes powers he doesn’t have

The inspiration for this April Fool’s article came from the second to last article above. But again, this article is not about DeSantis or his policies. It’s about the belief system of those who accepted that a governor could do such things. Perhaps they should their rethink their belief system?

In fact, we order them to rethink their belief system!

As always….the Guardian reports and our readers decide. Like our Facebook page to find out when we publish articles.

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